March 5, 2014 Edition

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Traveling to Narnia

Vivian Heyl
Staff Writer

It's not much of a secret that I hate cold winter days. Snow should only be allowed on Christmas Eve and it should be gone by noon on Christmas day. I am not a fan of sliding down the hill on "my little old lady who," to quote the rather whimsical bluegrass song.

Winter started early this season and it seems to have us permanently in it's grip. December hit us with cold, icy, snowy weather in the first week and of course I complained loudly to all those who would listen, "It isn't even winter yet, what's the big idea with all this freezing precipitation?"

Was I in for a surprise! January, remember January, it brought us yet another round of freezing rain, sleet and something pretending to be snow but wasn't. I woke the day after New Year's to a frozen world. It was at this point I realized I had somehow walked through the closet door and ended up in Narnia. I sent out a plea on a social media website asking to be rescued, but no one came.

Narnia, as you may already know is a fictional place (albeit I am beginning to have my doubts) where it is always winter but it is never Christmas. A more dismal reality I can't imagine. C.S. Lewis's book "The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe" brought this place to life when he introduced Narnia to his readers in 1950.

My fellow posters scoffed at my predicament. Though some commiserated and offered advice, most recommended that I learn to adapt. I was reminded on a daily basis that living in Arkansas requires one be prepared to wear shorts on Saturday and a snowsuit on Monday.

Still, I railed at the weather, the people who predicted the weather and those who told me to get a grip. I informed everyone that I was not enjoying Narnia what-so-ever and I wanted my real world back. January began to improve somewhat after the first week and I began to hope that I was slipping back through the closet door into my own world.

Then February, wow February, just like December and January, started out with a blast. A very cold one. Narnia was back with all its might and I was once again locked in a cold, white world of misery. I resumed posting about how much I hated living in the world beyond my closet door. My friends were not quite as mean as they were in January. This cheered me up a bit, but once that first week was over and the weather began to improve I lost their sympathy once again. Some even began to make fun of me. I can't imagine why.

People began to post photos of Hoth, a planet of snow and ice from "Star Wars," suggesting that I might be trapped there, but I am sure I wasn't because I have seen no tauntauns and thankfully no wampas either. Besides, surely I'd have run into some of the rebel alliance by now. No, I am completely convinced that it is Narnia.

February finally settled into a cold but less white month, and I had no return trips to the frozen land beyond my closet. Even though someone occasionally asked about my excursions I began to feel hopeful. I had begun to notice a disturbing pattern though. I looked at weather reports, tracked the ice and snowfall. This is what I found.

The first week of each month I have been transported from the real world to a place of blinding white that is snow and ice covered and so cold it hurts your toes and fingers. This was true in December, again in January and February. My conjecture is now fact. It is the first week of March. Guess where I am.

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